SOV Review: Geordie Finishing School For Girls

A short one this time.

The premise of this shit is simple. Take some arrogant posh cunts from the home counties, and mix them with some scummy cunts in Newcastle. The whole show sells itself on the concept of both exposing, and attempting to lessen the social inequality gap.  What it does, however, is make it far worse.

The last thing that this country needs is a media fuelled stereotype parade that is as disgustingly overblown as it is  openly discriminatory. So lets start on why this programme is just that. Well, a good place to begin would be the fact that the show is purposefully angled at making the “poor” folk looking better. This is for two reasons, both rather unsavoury. The first would be because “poor” is a bigger market. The are more viewing figures available in that market. The second is that they are statistically more likely to watch this shite anyway. As a “poor” person, this is depressing, but it’s the sad truth of the matter. My issue here is the editing to make the posh people look this way. Now don’t get me wrong: I’m ALL about the class warfare. But I’m also about the fair fight, and to be honest, when I to choose some people to figurehead my social movement, these clapped out teenage whores wouldn’t even figure in the ‘C’ team.

This is actually a serious issue for me. This whole show inadvertently insults me. You see, I’m a below poverty line bloke from the south. Holy shit, is there poverty in the south? You’re damn fucking right there is. I have the old sob story, namely 6 people living in a two bedroom council flat above an Indian takeaway when I was at school. Oh yeah, that beats your suburban two bed terrace in Newcastle. I moved up north for a better way of life, and no, that isn’t a joke. I got one too. So yeah, this representation of folk “from down south” offends me and everything that I, my family and my friends have ever worked hard to achieve. And yes, when I lived up north, I suffered this sort if discrimination (from some very well off northeners. If you have more than one car, or if you own your own home, like many of them do, you’re officially middle class, no matter how much brown ale you drink or how much arse cellulite you flash on Saturday night).

The double whammy comes, however, when you see the “typical Geordie lasses”. Are they fuck? They are skanky brainless, disease ridden whores, like you get north, middle and south, the ones that are harder to get rid of than Aids (and slightly less pleasant to have). These girls do NOT represent the north, or anyone really. They represent stupidity, worthlessness, and terrible upbringing, and you can be born with a whole silver cutlery drawer in your mouth and still end up this useless. This is not the social divide, this is awful television.

The northern girls go on about having no choice and how fate worked against them, and I could (but won’t) stand here a reel off examples that contradict what they are saying. It takes a special kind of talent to make the posh girls be the ones that you are rooting for, and maybe that’s the complete point. I don’t, however see why this would be the case? Why would anyone want to feel for the posh girls? They don’t need it! Like any reality tv show, these people appearing have been vetted by professionals, which means that only the brain damaged and the inbred have made it through to actual screening, thus making this officially the most useless piece of visual garbage since Lady Gaga’s fucking face.

Anyway, don’t watch this. It is insulting to real people, on both sides of the divide, and does nothing to fix it for us, or raise awareness of it for them. Fuck this show, fuck it until it dies crying.

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