Everyone needs to rant

You know what I hate? Parents. Walking around pushing their entitles bundles of shit around in Range Rover size buggies of doom, taking up the space of a small immigrant family on the tube at rush hour. Fuck parents, and fuck those who enjoy parenting.

Being a parent is one of the most selfish things you can do. Firstly, you are making a statement that you are somehow important enough to warrant including your genetics into the next generation of human life, despite having no way to oversee the future generations. You know Hitler, Pol Pot, and all those bad guys? You guessed it: they had parents, who, had they not been so selfish, would never have given birth to such disasters.

Children are crap. There is no way around it. They smell, they’re loud, they have no appreciation of public art. Quite frankly, children are disgusting. They are not suitable for the tube at rush hour, or in any social situation whatsoever. Hell, Butterflies have children that are a different species. Now that is how to avoid children. The children aren’t the criminals though. Parents are. Glaring over their bag of skin with some kind of perverse adoration, oblivious to the suffering of others.

Now some may say that parents are just people, as we all have reproductive organs, but that’s a load of shit. Parents like their children, and enjoy having them. You don’t need to be able to reproduce. Parents can adopt, and lead a human into the world with false hope and promises that acceptance is there for those who wish to find it. Some go crazy, and try placebos, like little wet pubic hair terriers that stink out the whole tube carriage at rush hour. They take up less room, but the comfort that affords you is ruined by the owner holding the stinky piece of fuck at eye level. It’s about as pleasant as children on the tube at rush hour.

Parents assume that shit is for them, when it isn’t. Like tube seats at rush hour. If you get pregnant, don’t go to work. Go away, to pregnant land. Those “step free access” elevators in certain stations are for disabled people you dumb fucks, not for buggies on the tube at rush hour.

 

And more. I’m off the train now.

 

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