Lady Gaga-Born This Way

Record labels once feared the internet, probably because they never realised what potential it had for developing social tools, and then using them as an advertising dive board to infiltrate the shallow minded mass right at the deep end.

A few years ago, this platform was Myspace, which sadly launched the careers of the Artic Monkeys, and, perhaps a bit more positively, Lily Allen. Now however, you have Twitter, LastFm, Tumblr etc. Not Facebook though, only Mark Zuckerberg and apparently Justin Timberlake  are allowed to become rich from that. No musical talent to see here folks.

Lady Gaga is one of these internet-to-star types, a former songwriter who decided she could do better herself.  Seeing as these guys take up the 50% of the pop industry, that isn’t currently being occupied by whatever democratically-voted-for-warbler-from-whatever-television-reality-show-is-big this-week, this isn’t much of a shock, although considering the substantial success of the pop music situation, you have to really question how bad the music industry really is doing?

Born This Way is a dull title for a dull album, a paint by numbers joke that should be struck off under the trade descriptions act. Unless she was born plagiarising other, better pop artists, then the title is misleading. Obviously pandering to the pro equality youth (read: middle class teens with expendable income, and the adults who missed out on that stage), this is a collection of songs that are crafted to be easy to swallow, and have played at you in a chain pub, usually at volumes designed to tune out the crackling static that the Lady Gaga fanbase has instead of brain activity. Throwing in motivational lyrics such as “I was born this way”, and then juxtaposing them against edgy and controversial lyrics “Judas”… no, sod this, there is no way in which I can seriously critique an album so full of cliché and stereotype, especially as it clearly isn’t meant to be a comedy record. If Lady Gaga REALLY believes that this is good, she’s stupid. If she is doing it to make a fuck load of money from morons, she’s got a good manager. Either way, there is something valuable missing from the whole process: integrity.

Lady Gaga is almost certainly very talented, but she learned early in her career that people paid more attention to her for her stupid clothes and her pop-up-pirate penis, and so stopped making any effort. Maybe she should drop the pretence, and write a song entitled “my fans are all gullible cunts”.

And yeah, I’m going to go there: She isn’t as good as Madonna, but is ripping her off, even down the the British fetishism. Go away Lady Gaga, please just leave us alone.

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