Partnership

Today I have had the pleasure of entertaining discussions between different people in different, but related stresses.

I have today spoken to those who are after a relationship, in a relationship that they are unsure as to whether is right for them, those who are getting married, those who are getting divorced, and those who are waiting on the precious contact of those who are not immediately available to them. One theme comes up above all others: What is the right partner?

So I have taken it upon myself to compile thoughts as to what makes an ideal partner.  This is completely from personal experience.

A great partner will indulge your randomness, regardless of how it benefits them. They will do random shit, like allow your scruffy mates into your home for superbowl, help make the chilli nachos, and help tidy before they arrive, even though you have had to go to work yourself.

A great partner will accept your bullshit, because God knows we all have a lot. They will find it tolerable and cute, and you will accept and respect theirs as well.

A great partner will listen when you need to talk, and will acknowledge your thoughts.  When you are concerned, they will thinks of solutions; when you have desire, they will help to achieve and resolve that.

A great partner will fit into your life. Oh, your life may change with them, but a natural change is a good thing, and there will be no pressure to alter your personal state just to appease them (or vice versa).

A great partner is someone you are happy to be affiliated with, that you are proud to walk shoulder to shoulder with. A great partner is not just your equal, but a completed part of you.

A great partner has ideas and individual thought that inspires you, that you wish you had yourself. As a partner, this is an extension of yourself, and something that you can work on together. Greed has little place in partnership.

A great partner has independence and individuality. A brainless and emotionless sheep does not have the connection to be referred to as a partner.

A great partner feels the same way about you that you do about them.

Hey, a partner can be of the opposite sex, or the same sex. There can be one, there can be more. It can be sexual, it can be platonic. It can be something special, and it can be ordinary. Regardless of who this person is, they are a vital part of you… if humans were not meant to be connected, we wouldn’t have been created (or evolved or whatever) social creatures. If you ever have an issue with a partner, think about how they alter your life, and more importantly, how they support the person that you are. Partners are important, not vital, but pretty damn awesome to have around. Make sure that you pick yours with absolute care and love 🙂

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3 Responses to Partnership

  1. I fully concur. It’s very hard, however, to find someone who ‘gets’ you and doesn’t inevitably try to model you to their ideals. From my own experiences, lots of people pretend they are perfectly happy with who you are, but a year down the line you realise you have lost part of yourself, stopped seeing your friends, change parts of yourself that your significant other used to find ‘endearing’… don’t even get me started on having a very warped sense of humour and having to pretend to be normal for the sake of not upsetting your pretty vanilla boyfriend.

    I’m a total cynic when it comes to relationships. I have fallen hard before and had my heart broken but when it ends, and my head clears, I realise just how much I have suppressed parts of myself to please the other person. Sure, give and take is what makes relationships work but when you go into them feeling you need to ‘hide’ certain personality traits of yourself, it rarely works out for the best.

    I guess subconsciously we all omit certain details when dating someone as we fear rejection. However, these things are what make us who we are. They are embedded into our core as much as our dna. To try and repress them is ludicrous at best. Life would be so much easier if we just told our partner every thing from the start and let them base the facts on whether they want to continue the relationship.

    Ok, I have totally waffled and made no relevant point at all. I’m sure going to have funny writing my essays!

    • joeverlander says:

      I’m a great essay writer XD
      I think that’s why I’m so drawn to multiple people, there’s less compromise there are you aren’t so reliant on each other, but on the flipside there is a whole lot more you are putting at risk from our monogamy fixated society.

      There are few people in the world that I’d consider a relationship. Very few.

      • I have always believed you can like and even love more than one person. Different people bring different things out in you. If you find someone that makes you happy, that’s great, keep them close to you and enjoy them.

        I just think people put too much pressure on themselves to conform to socially acceptable norms and values when it comes to relationships. To seriously say that you are going to love the same person for the rest of your life is ludicrous in my opinion.

        We change so much as we get older. Speaking from experience, I am a totally different person from what I was even 5 years ago. I have totally different expectations and life goals. As you adapt, you sometimes realise you have outgrown the person you were with.

        Man, I am sorry to be so damn cynical. I just don’t believe in the Prince Charming- finding Mr Right- theory. I’d much rather just see someone for as long as we both make each other happy still!

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